The Job RAWKS

SO. Day 1. Definitely rocked my socks. Funny enough, I'm not sure I really did much of anything. I watched a few people over their shoulders as they more or less walked through what I will be doing/ what I could help do during any news lulls. Oh, and I got to contribute story focus ideas in a meeting. See, they didn't know that pictures of Suri Cruise were slated to be released tomorrow. But they needed to know tonight so they could get on the horn with their Vanity Fair contact and try to grease some wheels so that we could have access rights to said photos. Which would then generate millions of hits for us. And I told them about the pictures. So I contributed and I was happy. (

Actually you know, the day started out really crappy. All factors pointed to a catastrophic first day. For starters, it was POURING outside this morning. Couldn't-see-my-car-on-the-street-20-feet-from-my-door pouring. But then literally 5 minutes before I walked out the door... it STOPPED. So ok, it turned out to be really good for me. Then I got there and the guy who I was supposed to meet (Brandon) was 20 minutes late. Then the first man (Ed) in my department to show me stuff, talked and clicked so damn fast and was a horrible teacher, so by lunchtime I was so freaked out that I'd gotten myself in WAY over my head that I couldn't hardly eat. And I got lost in the jungle of cubes on the way back. OH, and the security badge office was closed this morning so I couldn't go anywhere really in the building. And, someone had stolen my computer, so I couldn't actually sit down and work on physically learning the software.

My day ROCKED. I promise, there was not an ounce of sarcasm in that last statement. Because despite what should have been scary setbacks, it all worked out really well for me. The no computer/closed badge office/rain helped to really break the ice. And Ed made a whole lot more sense after I sat down with the woman that talked painfully slow (Christine). The two of them balanced out wonderfully. And after I began to understand what the hell he was saying to me, he was a great teacher. Bad on the foundation, great on the uptake though. Christine turned out to be a great person to meet too, because when I have downtime between news times, working with her will really show that I'm dedicated to my job and aren't there to just fart off. And because Brandon was late, I met another girl (Nikki) who happens to be working 2 cubes away from me (cool!).

Long story short: I think I'm in love with my new job.

Being in love with my new job, and thinking that I found a cool place to live that is just under 6 miles from AOL, makes me feel for the first time in months that my life is going somewhere. That it's not just stuck and I don't have to watch everyone else run past me with their lives. I don't feel like I'm so behind in life, or that I'm completely worthless. And you know what else: I don't feel the urge into anyones face and say "I told you I could do it." Which admittedly is a little surprising. I don't know whose face I would have rubbed it in, but for a while I felt like I had this vendetta against life or someone specific or whatever. And really, the personal satisfaction is so much more than I expected, and there isn't any room for any nasty feelings, which I'm glad for. I don't like harboring nasty feelings, or even having them, and especially acting on them.

I feel like I'm happy again.





Small factoid: Steve Irwin's death set new hit records at AOL yesterday... on a holiday... I actually heard one guy say "so, can you find me another ironic celebrity death, it would really do wonders for our numbers"... HAHAHAHAHAHA... I'm going to hell in a handbasket